Saturday, December 30, 2006

Hot Cars and Jesus

So, yesterday we went here: - a place so ridiculous, so over the top and insane, that it doesn't even bear mocking. What's the fun, when the target's that big? A simple list of the facts will suffice: It is a religious theme park, sans rides. It features a light show and anamatronic mannequin performance of Jesus' birth backed by poorly edited snippets of Faure's Requiem. Its employees have to dress up in period garb. It is full of papier-mache (or terracotta? or something?) life-size dioramas of bible scenes, plus figures of folks like Gandhi and Martin Luther, just for kicks. Most of these statues feature a sort of simpering leer as their expression. There are snack shops, where one can purchase historically and geographically accurate foods suck as hummus, baba ganoush, and, uh, empanadas. And popcorn. Also, one of these snack shops is a bar. Oh, and every 20 minutes a GIANT FUCKING JESUS STATUE rises from one of the "mountains" to the strains of "aleluia", turns around, closes its eyes, tips its head back, and sinks down again. Yep.

It's like this, from my proud home state of CT, if it had never been abandoned:

I also wanted to post a picture of the bossest of all boss cars I have seen here. This monster sits on the corner of Costa Rica and Gurruchaga, and does not seem to move. I have never seen such an enormous back seat. I can imagine no use for a back seat such as this that is not unholy in the extreme.


Lonnie Bruner said...

Holy shit, that is awesome. How come we didn't go there when I was in BA??

emily said...

because we didn't know about it then. A grave mistake on our parts that can only mean we will all have to come back and do it over.

WryGirl said...


Holy Land and luggage stores.